I stare at other women’s boobs. A lot.
There. I said it.
And as long as we’re having a truth session, I should add that I also find myself thinking about what kind of bra a woman is wearing.
But before you go thinking I’m some pervy weirdo or wondering whether this post was actually written by a 14-year-old boy in the throes of horndog hormones, let me explain. It’s nothing sexual, this brassiere contemplation, I just have an obsession with bras. In a good way. In a “Her boobs look great! I want my boobs to look that good! I wonder what she’s got on underneath that shirt?” kind of way.
Because let’s be honest: Not every woman has a lovely, perky rack that stays that way without at least a little bit of help from Freya, Chantelle or Victoria. I want to know what her rack is packin’.
It’s true what stylists say, that the proper foundations can really make or break an outfit. Wearing a bra that actually fits you well instantly makes your clothes look better and makes you look slimmer (droopy boobs plus lumpy tummy equals one hot mess of a midsection). And ask any woman who thought she was all that only to see a picture of herself and realize there are four lumps—not two—underneath her sweater. Argh, the scourge of Quad Boob!
True Confession: Bra Obsessions
My obsession with bras started several years ago on an otherwise-unremarkable trip to the Mall of America. I stopped in at Nordstrom and wandered into the lingerie department. A very nice saleswoman approached me and asked if I needed a fitting.
Did I need a bra fitting?
I’d never had one, so I shrugged and said what the hell. She sized me up with her tape measurer, brought me a few bras in the proper size (big surprise—like many women, I was wearing the wrong size), and, well, the foundation of my wardrobe was forever changed—literally.
While I walked away that day with a few new bras I liked well enough, that initial fitting sparked a quest to find that one perfect bra that would make my Chesty LaRues look ah-MAY-zing. If you look through my dresser drawer, you’ll find probably 10 to 15 bras mixed in with the plethora of chonies.* Some of these bras are practical, some are…not. There are long-line bras, demi-cups, convertible bras, T-shirt bras, sports bras, patterned, lace, molded cups–you name it, I probably have it. I’ll be the first to admit that my accumulation is a bit excessive.
But it’s all in the name of finding that perfect bra.
But guess what? There is no such thing as one perfect bra. There is, however, such a thing as multiple bras that are perfect for varying occasions. And to save yourself from an explosion of underwire when you open your dresser drawers, I offer a few simple tips for keeping a well-stocked, but not, ahem, uncontrollable amount of bras.
Know your need. Is the bra for everyday wear? Bring a T-shirt with you to try on over the bra so you can see if the bra’s pattern shows through the material. Is it for a fancy dress? Bring the dress with you and again, try it on over the bra. You’ll be better able to tell if the straps show or if the neckline plunges further than the bra does.
Go nude. Or light pink. Or chocolate brown. Under white or light colored T-shirts, nude bras are often touted as the go-to undergarment. But depending on your skin tone, a nude bra might be more visible than another-colored bra. Experiment with what works best for your skin and what makes you comfortable.
Donate. Sometimes after you get a bra home and wear it out on the town once or twice, you discover the two of you are just not MFEO. Instead of letting the lingerie languish in your closet, donate your gently used bras to women in need. Check out Freethegirls.com, Brarecycling.org, or Support1000.org to find drop-off locations near you.
Do you have a favorite style or brand of bra? Or are you still on the hunt for your perfect fit? If so, want to go check out some boobs together? (Kidding! Kind of.)
*Underwear, for those who don’t like to use the p-word (aka panties).