Dear Budget Fashionista:
I am a soon-to-be mother of the bride. I have been searching for something stylish, but all the dresses I’ve seen are unfashionable and also expensive. How do I find a gorgeous mother-of-the-bride (MOTB) dress without spending a fortune?
How to find mother of the bride outfits
I feel your pain! In my search for MOTB dresses, I found most of the options to be dowdy and matronly.
Still, you don’t need to look like Whistler’s Mother (the old lady in the rocking chair) just because your kid’s getting married. You can be stylish and elegant, even glamorous if you dare. After all, you will be seeing folks you haven’t seen in years (maybe an annoying cousin or aunt) and you want to look your best.
Here’s what you need to know to find that perfect MOTB outfit.
1. Shop early
Hopefully you’re dealing with a wedding that’s planned well in advance of the actual date. That way, you can take advantage of end-of-season clearance sales and discontinued styles. Those will be way cheaper than “now” dresses.
2. Basic has benefits
Admittedly, this is hard advice to take. You want to show up perfectly for your kid’s wedding. That makes it tough to shop for an all-purpose outfit that you could reuse for another occasion. But the multipurpose outfit has more value than a one-time wear.
If you want an outfit you can rewear, stick to the basics. You may have to forgo sparkles and flash, but then you’ll have a nice, formal dress available for other occasions.
3. Look beyond the wedding store
Interestingly, you can often wedding-worthy outfits cheaper by shopping in non-wedding stores. Try a nice, dressy pants suit from Ann Taylor or check out the clearance racks of your local Macy’s or Dillards. Formal wear from mid-range brands like Tahari are usually great options. This is because the word “wedding” raises the price. Hack that issue by avoiding wedding shops and looking to stores that carry evening wear and cocktail dresses.
4. Think outside the box
Don’t get stuck on wearing a dress and only a dress. Thinking outside the (dress) box can widen your pool of affordable choices. How about a nice mother-of-the-bride pantsuit or jumpsuit? Either is a classy option with the potential to be very elegant.
- Pantsuits: For budget-friendly, versatile mother-of-the-bride pantsuits, shop R&M Richards at Macys.com.
- Jumpsuits: Formal jumpsuits can make a beautiful statement, but the nice ones tend to be pricey. Look for more affordable options at Gilt, Rue La La, and Lulus.
5. Get it made
A custom dress is a great option if you know someone who can sew. You might also try calling your local fashion design school to see if you can have a dress designed by an up-and-comer.
6. Know your best fit
A great fitting outfit makes you look slimmer and stand taller. Be open to having off-the-rack pieces altered to fit your body.
If you are top or bottom heavy, opt for separates; you will have greater control of the fit.
When in doubt, tunic and A-line silhouettes are almost universally flattering — just team them with heels to stay out of the frumpy zone. And remember the two golden rules: Don’t go too tight and don’t go too short.
7. Choose colors wisely
While you may wish to keep in theme with the bride’s color scheme, knowing which shades suit your complexion will help you narrow your options.
Hold up different hues of fabric against your skin to see which look best against your skin tone. If you tend to get flushed, steer clear of reds, pinks and corals. These will only exacerbate the red-face look. Instead, try soft pastel shades of blue and green that give a cooling glow.
8. Bring the bride
The bride knows the venue and wedding theme better than anyone. Her guidance can be invaluable.
9. Shop online
If you have lots of time, shop online. Amazon Prime Try Before You Buy is a great option — read about my experience shopping formal dresses on Amazon here.
10. Try consignment stores
Your local consignment shop may be a great place to find an affordable mother of the bride dress. This is because most of them are particular about the merchandise they resell. And, since many MOTB dresses are only worn once, your options should be in like-new condition.
11. Borrow
If you have no budget, check with friends and relatives to see if someone has a dress you can borrow or buy cheaply. Borrowing is best if the dress fits you precisely, of course. Otherwise, you’ll need alterations and then your pal won’t want the dress back.
You can also try Rent the Runway. Again, you won’t be able to make alterations. But the price is right.
Get ready to turn heads
Dressing the MOTB part is stressful, at least it was for me. I agonized more over that dress purchase than I did over my own wedding dress.
Here’s my advice: Stay patient, know your style, and keep shopping — you’re sure to find the mother-of-the-bride outfit that’ll turn heads for all the right reasons.