Ah, spring! It’s the season equated with the mythical cleansing of your closet more commonly known as spring cleaning. In terms of the holy spectrum of cleanliness, most of us fall somewhere between Mr. Clean, the avuncular bald dude who dares to wear the white shirt that’s two sizes too small, and a contestant from Hoarders. (Who are we kidding? We’re more Hoarders than Mr. Clean.) That’s why spring cleaning is the perfect tradition to partake in to get rid of fashion relics. Here are seven items to purge from your closet.
Stuff to Banish from Your Closet
1. Old sorority gear: Unless you graduated from college last month, there’s no sane reason why you need 43,282 pieces of sorority-related clothing. We get it. You’re forever a Delta Kappa Alpha Beta Gamma, and you loooooove your “sisters,” but if you’re over the age of 22, college is over, honey. Keep your fave hoodie for sentimental value and round up the rest for Goodwill.
2. Your ex’s clothes: Just because you have a freshly-manicured profile on eHarmony and you tell your friends you’re ready to enter the dating rat race doesn’t negate the fact that you’re still not over your ex. Stop torturing yourself! Yes, they’re comfy, but you don’t need his Snoopy boxers to remind you that your former flame is now with Ms. Moved-From-Brazil-to-Pursue-Modeling.
3. Mom jeans: We’re quoting Nike here. Just do it.
4. Painful shoes: They may be the sexiest darn things to grace your feet, but if wearing them makes your feet such a medical nightmare that even your podiatrist gasps in fear, it’s time to set them free.
5.Target-weight clothes: You know that teeny-tiny little black dress in the corner of your closet that tantalizes you every time you look at it? It’s two sizes too small, but it was eighty percent off at Bloomies, and you figured you’ve been trying to lose the Freshman Fifteen since, well, freshman year of college…which was over ten years ago. Yeah…It’s time to set this one free, too.
6. Old bridesmaid dresses: Your BFF swore she’d pick a bridesmaid dress that was re-wearable, and three years later, you’re learning that she’s a liar. You haven’t touched that Pepto-Bismol-pink ballgown since, well, the night she got married. You’re not going to wear it again. Donate it or sell it.
7. If you haven’t worn it: If you haven’t worn it in a year, it’s gotta go. Yes, even if it’s new with tags. Even if it’s a well-intentioned gift from your boyfriend’s stepmama. It’s gotta go.