The Budget Fashionista

<!—quoteo(post=1574:date=Sep 9 2007, 10:06 PM:name=cutelydevious81)—><div class=“quotetop”>QUOTE(cutelydevious81 @ Sep 9 2007, 10:06 PM) [snapback]1574[/snapback]</div>

So I work in a shoe store inside a mall. So basically I stand around and people watch in btwn customers. I can honestly say my biggest pet peeve is the super short denim mini skirt… That everyone has to wear. I saw one girl who could be no more than maybe 14 wearing a skirt so short that her butt showed, topping it off with a spaghetti strap tank top that showed the top part of her bra. I am 25 and I wondered why her mother let her out of the house like that. Also I don't know why people think it is acceptable to wear pj's in public. Spongebob on a grown woman in a mall. Not Cute. I think I hate everything supershort, super low rise, super tight…. Am I just getting old?!

NO you're not getting old, you just have class. Someitalian girl, you have kept me in stitches for a few days now. LOL!!!

<!—quoteo(post=1574:date=Sep 9 2007, 10:06 PM:name=cutelydevious81)—><div class=“quotetop”>QUOTE(cutelydevious81 @ Sep 9 2007, 10:06 PM) [snapback]1574[/snapback]</div>

So I work in a shoe store inside a mall. So basically I stand around and people watch in btwn customers. I can honestly say my biggest pet peeve is the super short denim mini skirt… That everyone has to wear. I saw one girl who could be no more than maybe 14 wearing a skirt so short that her butt showed, topping it off with a spaghetti strap tank top that showed the top part of her bra. I am 25 and I wondered why her mother let her out of the house like that. Also I don't know why people think it is acceptable to wear pj's in public. Spongebob on a grown woman in a mall. Not Cute. I think I hate everything supershort, super low rise, super tight…. Am I just getting old?!

You're not turning into an old lady..lol…I sometimes feel the same way and yeah what is the deal with pj's in public? We use to do it in college on campus but that's because we were always rolling out of bed and heading off to class. On a grown woman shopping at the mall?? No way!!! I see it a lot especially around were I work. I just don't get it.

After reading our collective comments I think we are pretty much agreed that:

1. Some styles should be worn by only a small segment of the public for which the style is flattering and age-appropriate.

2. SOME but not ALL stylish trends can be modified to fit one's age and figure type as a way to update one's wardrobe without looking pathetic. This does require, however, RUTHLESS self-examination in a 3-way mirror and if necessary a good tailor/dressmaker.

3. If one follows the TBF's or the WHAT NOT TO WEAR team's advice and takes the time, effort, and, yes patience, to develops a PERSONAL STYLE one is less likely to become a FASHION DON'T because you have more confidence about what works for you and are less likely to fall for a seasonal trend that is out of your league.

4. Finally there are just some people who throw caution to the wind and wear whatever they damn well please and are blissfully unaware of how they look to others. Perhaps that is the ultimate test of PERSONAL STYLE (or NOT!)

5. P.S. Style should be FUN but with the cost of clothes today it does take a bit more effort to be a FASHIONISTA.

Amethyst - 05 September 2007 07:38 AM

A 50 year old woman should not wear a micro-mini skirt, however if she is in great shape, wearing one that is slightly above the knee can be a stylish and more appropriate option.

I went to a concert by Tina Turner. She was over 50 at the time and looked better in her micro mini than most women half (or less) her age. Whether a woman “should” wear a micro-mini has more to do with how in-shape her legs are and her style, than her age.
In my opinion, wear what makes you look fabulous - which depends much more on your bodyshape and attitude and personal style than on age.

In my circles, women are more likely to wear clothes that are too big, thinking that they can hide their big butts, round bellies, etc. Some of the women do it with a very definite “style,” and I can’t stand it. The excuse is “well, that’s her style.” It may be your style, but if it makes you look fat and frumpy, then it doesn’t work.

I once gave these rules, and I think they apply here:
1) Dress to flatter your own unique body shape.
2) Dress to suit the context.
3) Dress to suit your personal style.

I think women need to wear clothes that fit well and flatter their bodies. They also need to acknowledge their age without giving up. Getting older does not mean the end of life or style.

Case in point: I saw a woman at a fancy event. She was wearing a gown that fit her perfectly (I think she had it made). It was an A-line gown with princess seams, which is universally flattering and worked well on her tall, plus-size figure. The neckline was square and open, which really opened up her face, and the sleeves had a small ruffle detail at the cuffs which added a really cute feminine touch. The problem was that the gown was in bright emerald green, and between the princess seams was a panel of bright purple with a gold print. The two bright colors competing with each other made the gown look costumey and not age appropriate (this woman has two married children).

My solution: don’t put this woman into a conservative suit because even if it does flatter her, she’d look like a stodgy old matron because it’s just not her style. Instead, take the gown, but make it hunter or forest green, and use the bright purple for the ruffle at the cuffs and as an inset at the neckline (not all the way down the front). Still different, still fun, but more age appropriate and not costumey.

follow fashion trends and fads

or

develop a personal sense of style that makes you nice to look at by the majority of the human race.

I pick the latter. Bend the trend or ignore it completely to create your own best looks. That best look doesn’t have to ignore fashion altogether, for example spicing up a classic pants and turtleneck in a neutral with a really great bag and shoes in this seasons colour and shape, making sure the glasses frames are current, makeup,  hair colour and cut are current.

I think you can be stylish at any age or size/shape, but it doesn’t matter what size/shape/age you are there are people who can’t dress appropriately. I’ve seen skinny friends struggle with the wrong fit or cut in dressing rooms just as much as me with my plus size figure.  Size is not the problem. Taste and the ability to judge fit, colour, proportion etc are.

It’s a skill like any other. Hopefully a mother teaches her daughter but otherwise, take books out of the library to learn. It’s like an art course. Learn to sew to fine tune fit or create the clothes you want in the sizes, colours and styles that flatter.

Then there is the matter of freedom of choice, and tactful good manners.

We pretty quickly get to know who wants the truth and who wants a happy lie when they ask us our opinion. Consideration for others means that we don’t intrude in their choices, but we are perfectly free to have an opinion (unvoiced unless asked) and free to make our own better choices.

What is appropriate often depends on proportion. For example if someone wears a big top, they need tighter fitting pants, and if they wear a long sweeping skirt, it usually looks nice with a tighter fitting top, with a little skin showing. If the bottom is covered up, show a little skin above, and vice versa.

But the skin doesn’t have to be your worst area.  It’s all choices. I like the skin on my lower legs but the upper arms—not so much, while my decolletage is still pretty nice. Long over short, short over long.

Then there is fit, and that has NOTHING to do with size. Good fit is good fit no matter what the label says the size is. I have shopped with model size ladies who don’t look good in every thing they try on, any more than I do at a plus size. That is the painful part of shopping. It takes a lot of time and continued effort to find the items that look and fit near perfect.

Cut the label out if it bugs you. But buy the right fit.

Learn which colours enhance and which make you look like a corpse underwater for days.

And then social specifics like not wearing white to a wedding and wearing dress up clothes to black tie, and somber stuff to a funeral. That has to do with respect for others, something that people with manners understand easily, and self centered clods never will.  The clods are easily spotted and they can be avoided.

People who dress badly aren’t always clods though. Those with a heart but no taste are still welcome in my company. Poor taste is a very minor sin but heartlessness can’t be changed at all.

For people who want to wear pjs in public, they need to think what kind of impression they want to make, and if they want to come across as socially illiterate, or socially stunted, then by all means bring on the flannel pj bottoms. If they are a hooker and are trolling for business, then by all means wear those micro minis with high heels (it looks less hookerish if the shoes are flat, proportion again).  Throw in fishnet hose for good measure.

If they love being pointed out and stared at, or laughed at, or the subject of cruel age related jokes, then the sheer see thru leopard print at a funeral is a definite statement of who they are, and it is their right to come across as tasteless and trashy. But they shouldn’t whine later about never being asked out, or having strangers hit on them.

But for the rest of the planet, most of us just need a little help in learning how to fine tune what we want to say with our outfit, our look, and that takes a bit of skill which can be learnt.

And if they can’t or won’t learn, I’m not going to shun them or laugh at them because perhaps they have other talents that are really valuable like warmth and genuine caring or a wild sense of humour.

I should modify that, I HATE seeing bits that should be covered like the plumbers crack, or the muffin top hanging out over the too tight, too low jeans or the bottom half of the butt cheeks just hanging out from the micro shorts or micro mini’s or those see thru blouses worn without underwear let alone a cami.

Public nakedness is not pleasant and it’s very very very rude.

That IS a statement about the person that exposes themselves and it’s along the lines of the pervy in the park. They are deranged in some way, getting their kicks out of exposing themselves, and the reactions they get.

I am a firm believer that all fashions aren’t suited for all people.  Some styles look better on certain body types.  It’s not always so much about size as it is about honoring your shape and playing up your best features.  However, there are certain types of clothes that just don’t look good on all sizes of people.  For example, baby doll dresses or shirts simply do not look good on women that are top heavy.  It makes them look pregnant. If they are pregnant, fine but if they’re not, they shouldn’t look like it.  Now baby doll dresses or shirts can look really cute and casual on someone who is smaller on top.  I also think that there are certain fashions that are age specific.  I do not want to see a 45 year old woman wearing one of those really short, cheerleader type skirts (unless she is playing tennis) however they can look really cute on a 22 year old. 

I think that more people need to spend more time in that three way mirror at the clothing store.  It’s important to survey any piece of clothing or outfit that you’re going to wear from all sides.  If you’re in doubt about it, put it back.  If you put something on and you don’t feel immediately confident and sexy, don’t wear it.  I don’t think anyone should ever wear clothing to hide themselves or cover something up.  Fashion is about expressing yourself and it’s impossible to do that when you’re covering yourself up.

As far as the mother in the dressing room with the daughter, she should have been more honest with her daughter.  It really wasn’t about the type of jeans that she was trying on.  It was about the improper size of those jeans.  I’ve found with low rise jeans that you sometimes have to go up a size in order to achieve a proper fit and avoid the dreaded muffin top.  Her mom could have suggested that she try a larger size to make sure that her jeans stay up on her hips better or something like that.  When dealing with women or girls in a dressing room, tact is the best thing to have.  The dressing room can be a vulnerable place for any person of any size and when you are in that vulnerable space, tread carefully.

I would say their is a “shape” limit more so than an “age” limit.
I suffer from “small waist-huge bootyitis” and so finding the right “fit” in jeans has always been a struggle and continues to be. Unfortunately Apple Bottoms neither works for me nor is in my budget.
So skinny jeans and straight leg jeans don’t really work for me due to my shape.
I also have “small chestitis” so some tops like halters, tube tops…look ridiculous on me.
I am a firm believer in the fact that not everyone can wear what is in style. So you find what works for you and toss the rest to the skinny jeans-big chest-halter top wearing size 0 girl next to you! :)

CluelessFashionista - 21 August 2008 10:00 PM

As far as the mother in the dressing room with the daughter, she should have been more honest with her daughter.  It really wasn’t about the type of jeans that she was trying on.  It was about the improper size of those jeans.  I’ve found with low rise jeans that you sometimes have to go up a size in order to achieve a proper fit and avoid the dreaded muffin top.  Her mom could have suggested that she try a larger size to make sure that her jeans stay up on her hips better or something like that.  When dealing with women or girls in a dressing room, tact is the best thing to have.  The dressing room can be a vulnerable place for any person of any size and when you are in that vulnerable space, tread carefully.

I agree with you that different jeans fit some shapes better. However, I’ve seen just how much kids take their moms’ advice… If the mom wasn’t very careful, her daughter probably thought she was just being “conservative” rather than “honest”.

lexy24 - 27 August 2008 12:08 AM

I would say their is a “shape” limit more so than an “age” limit.

I agree about shape, but I also feel that what you wear should be age appropriate. There are tons of classic and trendy classic pieces that can be worn at any age, but as a woman gets older, she needs to find a balance between “giving up” and “trying too hard.” She mustn’t wear anything that makes her look old and dowdy, but she also mustn’t wear things that make her look like she’s clinging to her 20’s.

TBF’s “Perfect 10” is a list of terrific classic pieces that a woman can wear from age 20 to age 100 and still look wonderful.

I fully agree. Though we have that great freedom to choose whatever type of fashion we want to wear, we must not also become fashion victim. And on these days, there are a lot not to become one.

Of course there should be limits. In math and physics, something without limits or rules is referred to as chaos.

People need to be REALISTIC. I learned a while ago that I can admire a look and not actually have to wear it. There are “rules” of appropriateness everywhere we turn. Why should that not be extended to the way we dress?  With that said, I don’t believe that society should impose those rules, except in extreme cases, I think that we should develop our own. That teenager at Steve and Barry’s will hopefully try different things and learn which are flattering and which are not. And sometimes, one’s personality just makes it work : look at Patricia Fields and Betsey Johnson.

As a mother, the best I can hope for is to guide my daughter to accept herself and dress in a way that really brings out the best that SHE can be.  I find that in this country ( I am Portuguese ), people don’t understand fit. We are so focused on the size label here that we have a distorted view of how clothes hang.

I can’t see a velour track suit and heels looking good on ANYONE. Sometimes it’s not about age appropriateness. It’s just about having some fashion sense.

As for people of a certain size wearing certain things I don’t think they have to be crossed off of the list because other people don’t like certain things. For instance I keep hearing that people with hips and thicker girls shouldn’t wear skinny jeans because it makes them look hippy. What if they like being hippy and want to accentuate those curves so they wear them with boots on top and a loose shirt that hits about mid hip and accentuates the curves and hip?

I personally don’t like the muffint top because I know that when they take those pants off there is going to be an imprint where the pants dig into your waist. It looks plain old uncomfortable. I sometimes go as far as to question what should show when someone else obviously appreciates the look (thicker stomachs, thighs, calves, etc.). Who gets to decide how flat your stomach has to be in order to show or how thick or skinny your legs get to be before you’re “allowed” to show them off.

Yes, there is an appropriate fashion cut off for age and body type.  The mother who does not take responsibility to let her daughter know her muffin top is hanging out of her pants is doing her a great disservice.  It’s not teaching her to love herself.  It’s teaching her to fit in no matter what the cost.  Now-a-days if you walk through the girls department (no jr.‘s - GIRLS), most of the clothing is made for miniature HOOKERS!, Stars like Jennifer Lopez sending out outfits you see common streetwalkers display on a nightly basis - not to get away from the other end of the spectrum… the cool chicks who wear not only their pajama bottoms to school, but accesorized with yes!, matching slippers.  GIRLS, WOMEN, MOTHERS, and Fathers, stand up and teach these young girls to RESPECT THEMSELVES.  Don’t cow-tow to the masses.  So what if you weren’t made for low-rise skinny jeans - ROCK a dark washed flare bottomed.  Your not really great until you are you.  And if you are busy putting yourself out for others, you will never know who you are, INSIDE or OUT.

In my be it ever so humble opinion! (smiles)