Surviving Your High School Reunion

This weekend I’m headed to the tropical metropolis of Minneapolis, Minn., for my dreaded 10th year high school reunion.  Why do I dread my reunion? Because I went to school with some very evil children. Think Children of the Corn in GAP jeans.

So in order to get through it, I came up with answers to some typical reunion questions.

Them: What have you been doing?
You: Nothing (and if you are gutsy say “your husband”)

Them: Are you married?
Me: Why yes (turning to the invisible space besides me)—Honey I want you to meet Jane. She used to have horrible acne and smelled like liverwurst.

Them: What do you do?
Me: Really what does anyone do? In life do we ever do what we are really suppose to do? If I was to do what I do, would I still be able to do it?

If you have more answers, feel free to post them in the comments section below. It is going to be a long night.